We’re America and We’ll Breach Whatever Perimeter We Want

Exclusive: New Iranian Commando Team Operating Near U.S.” is the title of a parody by Tom Englehardt at TomDispatch. It begins:

(Tehran, FNA) The Fars News Agency has confirmed with the Republican Guard’s North American Operations Command that a new elite Iranian commando team is operating in the U.S.-Mexican border region.

He continues.

… most Americans, if they were to read about the existence of the new special ops team, wouldn’t think it strange that U.S. forces were edging up to (if not across) the Iranian border, not when our “safety” was at stake.

Reverse the story, though, and it immediately becomes a malign, if unimaginable, fairy tale. Of course, no Iranian elite forces will ever operate along the U.S. border. Not in this world. Washington wouldn’t live with it.

[Continuing with the satire: what passes for American empathy for other peoples]

We’re America. We don’t stand for any breaching of our perimeters. The Cuban Missile Crisis sent that message loud and clear. It’s just other countries’ tough luck that they’re not separated from potential threats by two oceans like we are. Besides, they’re used to living in crowded conditions. Anyway, we’ll breach the perimeter of our choosing.

“After all,” as Tom writes, “despite the talk about American decline, we are still on a one-way imperial planet.”